Pants Off Dance Off

Reggie writes:

"Dear Dexy,

Is it true you auditioned for Pants Off Dance Off?"

Dear Reggie,

Yes, indeed it is true. I, Dexy Harrison, almost made it to the auditions for "Pants Off Dance Off." But on my way to the train station I had to stop for breakfast otherwise I was going to die. so that meant that I would miss the early train. So I hung out on the platform for a while, and then i got tired of doing that, and since i had an hour to kill I decided to walk across the street to that little bagel cafe next to Mahoneys. but then while I was waiting for my bagel to be done I spilt some juice on my pants (which i was still trying to take off!) and in trying to get some of the juice out I ended up knocking over some things on the counter and they went all over the place and so I had to clean those up and then my bagel was done and then the next train flew by which would mean I would have to wait another hour so I said 'fuck it' and went home.

Yours Ever So Sincerely,
Dex